You can lead Daisy to a field, but you can’t make her poo.
That was the lesson learned by the St James Fete organising committee, the members of which held a cow pat raffle at one of their recent events.
For those of you not familiar with the idea, you take a school oval, some white marker paint and one bovine.
Once you’ve marked out a series of grids on the oval, you sell the squares – the one that goes from green to a dark brown colour wins the prize.
All that’s left to do is let the cow loose and wait … and wait.
Unusually for the species, this particular cow must have been suffering from cattle constipation because, despite enjoying the succulent St James turf, Daisy didn’t want to go.
Originally an annual event that started as a school celebration, during the past 12 years the St James Fete has come to be enjoyed by many people across Wyndham.
I don’t know about you, but fetes invariably make me hark back to my own school days. Memories of homemade toffee in cupcake cases, fairy bread and bringing a non-perishable donation for the food raffle.
I recall one year an enterprising teacher turned our classroom hallway into a house of horrors, giving many of us nightmares for days.
The St James Fete continues the tradition of child-focused fun.
Held at St James the Apostle Primary School on Derrimut Road, the fete is the school’s major fundraiser.
Homemade cakes, secondhand goods and raffle tickets will be available this Saturday from 10am-4pm. See you there.
Emma Sutcliffe is a Little River-based freelance writer.