Kevin Hillier considers friends and foes

Kevin Hillier

When Michael Corleone said “Keep your friends close, but keep your enemies closer” in the Godfather Part II movie, he may have been speaking about any number of life’s relationships. The trick these days is telling the two apart, especially as our definition of friend has become blurred thanks to social media.

Is a Facebook friend a real friend? In some cases they might be more of a true friend than those you see every day. Where do workplace friendships sit in the scheme of things? Many industries are transient and friendships fleeting, which is where the connection via Facebook etc allows for contact to continue. I remember seeing the crestfallen face of a work colleague of mine some years back when his on-air partner told him they were not real friends, just work acquaintances.

We make friends when we play sport. Those friendships are forged in achieving a common goal and celebrating the spoils of victory or defeat. School friends who remain in contact seem to stand the test of time.

I am intrigued by those people who categorise their friends into groups. This week a friend of mine saw Valentine’s Day as a chance to wish his gay friends all the best now that they could embrace their relationships with a legal marriage. While I echo the sentiment, I don’t have a file in my friends folder marked gay friends. I just have friends. Their sexual preference is about as relevant to me as their hair colour.

Real friends accept us for what we are, because they know our good points and our faults. They are to be cherished, not labelled and placed in a conveniently marked area. We sometimes think we are better friends with people than they do, and this can lead to a lot of pain and anxiety. While it is important to know your friends from your enemies, it is equally important to know who your real friends are. How many times have you heard someone say “Now I know who my real friends are” almost always after a turbulent time in their life? Maybe Michael Corleone now would just keep his close friends.