I do most of the supermarket shopping in our household and, unlike a lot of men, I don’t mind it at all. That’s not to say it is always a pleasant experience. My problem with shopping is simple – other shoppers. If I could walk the aisles on my own there would be no complaints at all. There are many types who frequent the same supermarkets as me, and I am keen to know if you’ve come across the same types:
The speed hump: That shopper who manages to take up the entire aisle with their trolley, making everyone stop and manoeuvre around them. Trolleys with horns would be handy.
The U-turner: The person in front of you who suddenly does a 360 without warning and nearly takes off your knees with their basket or trolley. This person is often on a mobile phone. Trolleys with blinkers would be good, too.
The Dr Who shopper: The shopper who thinks the supermarket is their own private phone booth, and yet speaks so loudly that there is nothing private about the conversation. This can be more off-putting when they come up behind you and bellow something like: “Hello, mate, how are you going?” As you turn to respond, thinking it is someone you know, there’s a moment of awkward realisation.
The space invader: These are found at the checkout, and last week the bloke behind me might as well have been in my trolley, he was so close as I unloaded. He even sidled up next to me as I was paying the bill. Back off, already!
The queue jumper: I don’t care if you only have two or three items and I have 22, the ‘no, you jump in before me’ line has been erased from my lips, as it’s a privilege that has been abused over the years and no longer works for me. This is predominately a male thing.
The bean counter: This one happened to my wife recently. The 15 items-or-less express lane is a battlefield – enter with more than 15 items at your peril.
When challenged by the next in line if she had more than 15 items, my wife responded by saying: “You are quite welcome to count them if you like.” My wife watched as the shopper lip-synced one, two, three …
■ What do you think? Post a comment below
■ If you have any news or events, let me know at kevin@howdypartnersmedia.com.au
