Ah, Christmas! The time of joy and stress, gift-giving and debt, food and weight gain, family and fights.
OK, so I’m being a teeny bit cynical.
But it seems the Werribee Plaza shop aisles are full of dawdling people wondering whether Great Aunt Edna would like the box set of Packed to the Rafters or the glow-in-the-dark lamp.
When I think back to my previous Christmas shopping experiences, they all seem to melt into one confused mass of tracky-dack clad people anxiously searching for stocking fillers and crackers with some half-decent jokes in them.
In your face are advertising signs screaming about sales, specials and the latest perfume “created for you” by some mega-rich diva/rapper/sportsperson, when all you want are a few Christmas tree decorations.
Meanwhile, on the idiot box, there are a host of helpful ideas presented by gorgeous people with great teeth,
a la Better Homes and Gardens.
Why not try hand-making your cards with gold-gilding, dodo feathers and the glitter from a unicorn’s horn? Or perhaps this life-sized gingerbread house with real tin guttering is more your thing?
And who on earth decides the TV programming over the silly season? Last year I wondered why Terminator was showing on Christmas Eve, only to turn over and find old episodes of Magnum PI and The Golden Girls.
However, there is one thing I do enjoy – the sheer inventiveness of some householders with their Christmas light displays. Miniature train sets, bubble-blowing machines, nodding reindeer and hundreds of Santas, all being enjoyed by queues of families.
Yep, Christmas. I never know whether to groan or cheer. So have a great Christmas … and bah humbug.
Emma Sutcliffe is a Little River-based freelance writer who blogs at littleriveremma.com