When Sofia Harris fell pregnant naturally at the age of 40, she was overjoyed.
The Hoppers Crossing resident had a textbook pregnancy and in her anticipation to meet her little one, wrote a journal to her unborn child throughout the pregnancy.
“I spent my whole life wanting to have a baby, and there I was – it was good,” she said.
The first indication that something was amiss happened when Sofia’s son Laurence was born limp.
“When I pushed Laurence out, we didn’t know if we were having a boy or a girl, so when he came out [my husband] Richard said ‘it’s a boy!’
“He got put [on my chest] for about three seconds before they just whisked him off me.
“We watched and we watched and we watched and I remember there was a big clock up there and I was just thinking, he’s not uttering a sound.”
More than 90 minutes after he was born, doctors came in to tell Sofia and Richard that Laurence was not responding.
“They [hospital staff] were so surprised because there was no indication, there was nothing – he was eight pounds one, he was a big baby, he was healthy, there was nothing in any of our scans to indicate that there would have been a problem.”
Even a post-mortem was unable to identify the reason why Laurence passed away, a fact that Mrs Harris said has been hard to swallow.
Following Laurence’s passing, Mrs Harris said she felt an “unquenchable thirst” to try again and nine months later, fell pregnant with her son Jorge.
Despite being terrified this time around, she gave birth to a healthy baby boy.
Then when Jorge turned one, the pair started trying again and Mrs Harris fell pregnant with their daughter Emiliana.
At the 12-week scan, it was discovered that Emiliana had Trisomy 18, an error in cell division that disrupts the baby’s normal pattern of development. The couple were advised to terminate, but decided to let nature run its course. Emiliana passed away at 24 weeks in the womb and was born still.
“I still feel really sad not to have my beautiful girl, but I really can understand that she wasn’t forming properly and it was a genetic thing and it makes so much sense,” she said.
“I don’t love her any less, but it sits somewhere different to me. It’s not like Laurence.”
After the loss of Emiliana, Mrs Harris wanted to try again. This time, she underwent IVF with genetic testing and with the one viable egg they had, the pair had son Gabriel.
Mrs Harris, who shared her story as part of Pregnancy and Child Loss Month, said the support she had received at Werribee Mercy for all four pregnancies had been amazing.
She said the family marks Laurence’s and Emiliana’s birthdays. At Christmas, all four children have baubles with their names on them on the Christmas tree and Jorge and Gabriel receive presents from Laurence and Emiliana.
Mrs Harris said it was important for her to talk about all four children.
“The only way I’ve been able to process it and be healthy and have Jorge and then go on to have Emiliana and Gabriel was by talking and talking.”
