Western suburbs creatives Bill Marshall and Patricia Stewart share stories of abuse, mental health battles and resilience through their podcast series, Billy and PS At the Core, as Afraa Kori reports.
Having walked the path themselves, Yarraville visual artist Patricia Stewart and West Footscray writer Bill Marshall have launched a podcast to guide others through darkness.
Billy and PS At the Core, a podcast currently in its 10th series, reveals their true stories of abuse, survival and resilience.
Marshall shared his 50-year battle with schizophrenia, which fuelled his mission to eliminate mental health stigma and misconceptions through conversations.
“I was diagnosed with schizophrenia in 1972 when I was 17 and I became very lonely, unhappy and alienated from people. I had a protracted writer’s block for six years and not being able to write was quite disastrous for me,” he said.
“Some people think all schizophrenics are dangerous, violent and have multiple personalities. There’s a lot of misinformation and misconceptions about mental illness and schizophrenia, so I thought talking about it openly would be helpful for other people.
“I do hope that I can enlighten people about it and get rid of the stigma around mental illness. I want listeners to understand that mental illness is not a death sentence and you’re not condemned to a sort of a ghetto of mental illness. There’s hope beyond a diagnosis of schizophrenia or any other form of mental illness. You can still lead a healthy, productive, enjoyable and rewarding life after your diagnosis.”
Stewart discusses her 52 years of abuse at the hands of her mother who suffered from Munchausen (factitious disorder).
“A person with Munchausen creates made up illnesses and they can transfer it to a child or someone they are close to. For example, my mother would act out her illnesses when she wasn’t getting the attention that she wanted. She would then put me to bed and tell me I was dying, hoping to get the attention from looking after me. She also gave me no education, no clothes, no toys. I know it sounds all crazy, but this was the reality. I was the only girl and that could have been a big part of her learning. She was very jealous of me and she didn’t want me near my father. My dad was very disengaged from the family so he didn’t influence her in any positive way that I could see,” she said.
“I have found my nervous system is completely abused and traumatised by her treatment of me. I’ve been in trauma groups that speak about self-care and I realised I had no concept, because of my mother’s treatment of giving me nothing.
“The experience of forgiveness has come with a deeper knowledge and understanding that there’s something wrong with these people and they did not deliberately do this. If they were, they could have been daunted by what work would have been required to work on that and they were not resilient enough.
“It’s extremely hard getting over the pain and the suffering it causes to the nervous system, to our development and heart. What inspired me to go public now is, I actually have a sense of my own identity and I feel that what I want to say is helpful to other people.
“The podcast gave me such a sense of empowerment about my own experiences and how I handle them. I learnt how to find the words to express what I’ve experienced and those words came with the help of others. I’ve talked to people who have experienced bad trauma and they immediately become on the same page as me. Many have shared their painful experiences with me, things they don’t usually tell others. They don’t find me judgmental so I suppose I’ve been through so much, I just haven’t got any judgement left in me. So sharing stories brings healing for you and others.”
Avid listener and supporter Marty MonStar said At the Core provides a relaxed and honest conversation of trust and openness about mental health.
“Bill and Patricia take you on a journey exploring the topic of each podcast. They both slowly and gently guide us At the Core of the discussion. The relaxed and honest approach to the ‘sometimes’ difficult discussion about our and others mental health is liberating. I felt I can share my struggles with my own mental health without being embarrassed and shameful,” he said.
“The podcast is very much relatable to myself as I have suffered from Bipolar almost all of my adult life. The friendships I have developed with Bill and Patricia over the years and through the podcast has provided another platform to share our inner selves. I believe honest and open communication about our personal experiences with our mental health must continue. I do not see mental health as an illness. It is a part of what makes us beautiful and unique.”
Billy and PS At the Core series can be accessed on all podcast streaming platforms. Details: feeds.buzzsprout.com/2347868.rss
