By Rod Easdown
My most embarrassing umbrella moment came in a restaurant when, after being wined and dined by a couple of PR people at a window table overlooking Sydney Harbour, I went to retrieve my umbrella from the communal bin at the entrance. And some low dog had taken it, confirming much I have heard about Sydney.
It was raining. Hard. So I figured if someone had taken my umbrella I’d do the Sydney thing and take someone else’s, helping myself to a random black number there. It was only when I got back to my car and collapsed the umbrella that I realised it actually belonged to one of the people I had just had lunch with.
I start to get the shakes when I think about all the umbrellas I’ve lost. I have left them
in cafés, in taxis and trains and airports.
I’ve seen them blow away, I’ve even lost
one at sea. Then there are the umbrellas that have irreparably broken their limbs by being blown inside-out during storms at which time, just like horses, they must be put out of their misery. I wish I could have back all the money I’ve spent on umbrellas. A survey somewhere said that of all the items we
lose on a regular basis, umbrellas finish in the top five.
A couple of years ago, a New Zealand company called Blunt unveiled an umbrella that stands up to a force 12 gale (that’s 118km/h). It is the Arnold Schwarzenegger of umbrellas and I have been using one since its launch. It remains pristine despite some torrid outings indeed.
I haven’t lost, misplaced or mislaid it, and I have eschewed communal bins at restaurants. At $70 a copy, one takes such measures. Now Blunt has come up with an umbrella that is not only unbreakable, it also tells you where you’ve left it. The company has included a built-in chip in some models that operates with a phone app and, if it’s within 15 to 30 metres, you can call it up with your phone and it will play a happy little tune until you find it. I don’t know what the tune is but I do know that in most Sydney restaurants you wouldn’t hear it anyway.
If it is out of range, the app will tell you where it last was when you were nearby – so at least you’ll know where you left it. But if it has gone walkies with someone from Sydney, or a rude journalist, well this is not a tracking device so you’re on your own. Best take someone else’s umbrella. Just make sure it’s not the guy who has just bought you lunch.
